still travelling

last book i've read: alethea by pamela belle
band currently caressing my ears: jars of clay, their newest cd. i recommend "trouble is" and "jealous kind," oh yeah baby.
general mood: slightly anxious, mostly excited
quote i just thought of: can't think of one today.

i had a fantastic time at maryland. the weather is similar to wisconsin, and i had no problem with it, though humid at times. it was green and gorgeous. i was in columbia, as the people i stayed with work in d.c., and must be close enough to commute. john and tari radin were wonderful people, opened their house and their hearts to me with ease, and i really enjoyed myself. the whole family was there - john and tari's three children and their families, and john's sister (peggy) and dea and wayland and me, of course. this made for a whole house full, but it was great. i befriended danielle's daughter of four years, and i almost ended up with a little girl for the flight home. good times.

in two days i will be on a plane to visit california and the radin/britton family one more time this summer. this time wayland and i will definitely be heading to l.a. for a time because i definitely need to hit the beach at least once this summer.

i just wish my friends that are here would let me know how they are. sam is back from camp as far as i know, brandon is around, and melissa tried to call, but to no avail, i missed the call. i don't think i'll be coming home next summer unless i nail an internship i need. as long as i can go to cornerstone, i'm good.

speaking of friends, i did spend time with a wonderful guy - brian vanderkamp. he called me up and gave me the time of day, so i told him we should get together. we did, and it was great. el mezcal for dinner and talk that lead the couple next to us to join in, and the bourne supremacy was fascinating, although not as exciting as the first. and also talking in his driveway for an hour and a half. i'm so glad i can finally talk to someone and not be judged, but with trust, confide in him and know that we are equals. finally....

things are changing. i still struggle mentally with certain issues of my past, and things that will definitely affect my present and future. i'm searching for answers, and i don't know what will happen. my dad says "when you know, you'll know. it will become clear." things are still murky for me, but i hope for the clarity he claims i'll have. i desire to know, to listen. and i pray i'm not wrong.