last book i've read: a bible tract handed to my friend while at Live at Lunch on main st. green
currently caressing my ears: pandora.com's alternative/indie rock station (currently she wants revenge's song these things)
general mood: exact, pedantic, disorderly
quote: "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." --A. A. Milne
I kinda do want revenge, funny. Except I'm not supposed to want that, I'm supposed to be love and light to all. Right now I'm wind and fire, and together it's spreading, spreading slowly over my psyche, makes me feel vexed and alone. It's okay.
Lovers hold hands to hide the pain.
I enjoy adventures. I plan on taking one in the near future. He's jealous because he doesn't have money to come. And I don't have money either, but I'm frugal. I don't buy drinks everywhere I go, I can lean on my friends for places to stay, and I'm not worried about where it's coming from. I work my butt off to be where I'm financially at.
She says I'm a bad man, I've got nothing to say.
I really wish that not saying your sorry didn't mean you admit to your discretion. I also wish that there was more honesty surrounding me right now. I've created it, but it's not being returned. I leave myself open, you shut down. Eh, I'll deal with it. I have before, I'll be fine.
25 June 2008
14 June 2008
i could really use a million dollars
last book i've read: flight stuffs
currently caressing my ears: andy's 6.3.08 playlist
general mood: lonely lonely that is you. lonely lonely that is me.
quote: i think people can be perfect when they do not think about it. --matt pond PA
Earlier this month, after my insecurities bubbled over into a nasty, flat frustration for the both of us, Andy and I started to work on our friendship. That started June 3rd. It included putting energy into helping ourselves outside our romantic relationship and friendship, into our financial and social spheres as well. I haven't been making quite the effort I need to in the other spheres of life, but since working on our friendship, harmony is assuredly in my relationship with Andy. I realized the beauty of it all, the perfection, without my messing it up constantly. I realized how honored I am to have him so close in my life, how much he means to me. I realized how much I really loved him.
It was an epiphany moment, to be sure. Just after watching p.s. i love you. It seems silly to earmark those moments, especially when preceded by something simple as a movie. But, it hit me hard. And it's also the moment I realized I would be absolutely happy spending the rest of my life beside him.
I had no idea it felt so good. And felt so perfect. It only took me a year to realize that. (I mean that with a touch of sarcasm.... I make myself angry thinking about how much I've hindered that from happening sooner. but there's beauty in that too....)
currently caressing my ears: andy's 6.3.08 playlist
general mood: lonely lonely that is you. lonely lonely that is me.
quote: i think people can be perfect when they do not think about it. --matt pond PA
Earlier this month, after my insecurities bubbled over into a nasty, flat frustration for the both of us, Andy and I started to work on our friendship. That started June 3rd. It included putting energy into helping ourselves outside our romantic relationship and friendship, into our financial and social spheres as well. I haven't been making quite the effort I need to in the other spheres of life, but since working on our friendship, harmony is assuredly in my relationship with Andy. I realized the beauty of it all, the perfection, without my messing it up constantly. I realized how honored I am to have him so close in my life, how much he means to me. I realized how much I really loved him.
It was an epiphany moment, to be sure. Just after watching p.s. i love you. It seems silly to earmark those moments, especially when preceded by something simple as a movie. But, it hit me hard. And it's also the moment I realized I would be absolutely happy spending the rest of my life beside him.
I had no idea it felt so good. And felt so perfect. It only took me a year to realize that. (I mean that with a touch of sarcasm.... I make myself angry thinking about how much I've hindered that from happening sooner. but there's beauty in that too....)
01 June 2008
the trouble with thinking too much
last book i've read: my bust magazine
currently caressing my ears: hip hop to blast playlist
general mood: meh
quote: "Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don't know and I don't care." --Jimmy Buffett
I wish I could stop attracting selfish people. I'm happy to listen. More than happy, it's what I do. I just would like someone to listen back. And give a little. Which, of course, only makes me miss the people that I used to have near me so much more. Maybe I'll just reminisce some more.
currently caressing my ears: hip hop to blast playlist
general mood: meh
quote: "Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don't know and I don't care." --Jimmy Buffett
I wish I could stop attracting selfish people. I'm happy to listen. More than happy, it's what I do. I just would like someone to listen back. And give a little. Which, of course, only makes me miss the people that I used to have near me so much more. Maybe I'll just reminisce some more.
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