artsy fartsy

last book i've read: the description on the back of Maya's wheatgrass kitty treats. she loves them.
currently caressing my ears: onelinedrawing
general mood: unfortunate
quote:"The waves of desire in the world-ocean are intoxicating wine." --Sri Guru Granth Sahib

How about excerpts that will attempt to capture what I feel. Since words don't feel fitting right now.
*your hips, your hips are like seashells, and i can hear the ocean when i listen.
*I wish that you were here with me to pass the dull weekend
I know it wouldn’t come to love, my heroine pretend
A lady stepping from the songs we love until this day
You’d settle for an epitaph like “Walk Away, Renee”
The sun upon the roof in winter will draw you out like
a flower
Meet you at the statue in an hour
*You must have fallen from the sky,
You must have shattered on the wrong way.
You brought so many to the light,
And now you're by yourself.
*Walking on moonbeams
And staring out to sea
*Many miles from where I’m sleeping
You share laughter in the evening
As do I, in the great divine
Yours is mine
We’ll find love
The kind we’re dreaming of
*Where do you go when the night winds away
Ask me so sweetly
What do I do
Who do I sing for
Well honey I sing about you
*I'd be crazy not to follow
Follow where you lead
Your eyes
They turn me
*And it's early June, so the sand's still dry,
and you have got the boldest eyes,
and I can't help but think it's right,
that inside you it's me I'll find.
And I'm still waiting.
*Love, let me sleep tonight
On your couch
And remember the smell
And the fabric
Of your simple city dress
*Theres something about the way you move
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing
More subtle than something someone contrives
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing

hold me close in the hallway

I had the most amazing weekend. My college girlfriends reminded me why I need them so much closer in my life. They know me better than I know myself sometimes. They let me just do it up they way we've done, and they allowed me to feel loved without judgment, not the kind that plagues me as of late. Good thing unconditional love still abounds in near corners of my world. And also, there was the fire-eyed boy who needs to let the world go and go with the present, as he acknowledged. Simply, old crushes die hard.

I enjoy sharing so much more than I ever realized. But only with those worthy of the trust. It's not fun to get trampled on, and I embrace those that rock my world. Rock on boys and girls.

having the sniffles

last book i've read: federal aviation regulations
currently caressing my ears: Beck, Guero and Odelay. Yummy.
general mood: sneezy
quote: "I used to wake up at 4 AM and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness." --James Thurber

I have a cat allergy. I had no idea how pronounced it was until now that I've had a cat in my home for almost a month. I thought I could overcome my seemingly mild allergy, but it seems I was sorely mistaken. It has only gotten worse over time, and the last few days before and after Bloomington have made it unbearable. I am afraid that the truth reveals itself: time to get rid of the cat so I can lead a normal life again. Oh, how harsh, but I already have a potential taker. That said, the sad truth reveals itself again: I am not meant to have cats in my life for any extended period of time ever. Unless some radical combination of immunotherapy, HEPA air filters, and good cat hygiene would work and are ever in my future. Which I unfortunately don't forsee. And certainly not now when I can't afford much. So much for my dream of having a cat as a pet. At least I tried.

mmmm

Sometimes organic mint oreos make everything better.

do you know....

....what hurts more than anything in the whole world?

The truth.

one day at a time

last book i've read: something lying around Rachel and Josh's house
currently caressing my ears: their humming computer
general mood: very jovial
quote: "We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." --Buddha

And I wish I didn't have to leave. I have adored my weekend getaway to Bloomington, IN. I was welcomed into my friends' Rachel and Josh's home and had the most amazing time walking the streets of Bloomington, eating delicious food, running into their fantastic friends, and just basking in one another's company. I saw where Josh proposed, I admire the house and home they've created together, and their love is abundant. Plus this town just friggin rocks. Quite literally, we saw Feist at the UI auditorium and it's plain to see this town has a bustling music scene. I'm hoping I can bring Andy with me in the future.

Rachel reminded me of things I'd known but ignored and forgotten: that I just need to relax and take things one day at a time. I'm hoping I can truly practice that soon, since lately I get so wrapped up in thoughts about the future and what's to come, and my past which I feel I've messed up, hoping I can make things right again. It's okay not to have all the answers, they will reveal themselves. It's okay to have questions, it will all work out. I just gotta stop letting my youthful indecision wrack my brains and mess up my life.

Oh life!

your watermelon heart

last book i've read: federal aviation regulations
currently caressing my ears: ticking clocks
general mood: curious
quote: "Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days... What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I am twenty-three years old, and I am at the pinnacle of indecision. Sure, I'm not as messed up as others, thank god for that. But I am no less sure of my hurried steps, my ups and my downs, or my future than any other young'un I know. I know what I want for a career, and nothing but finances will stop me. But my heart is an entirely different matter. And my patience is thin, and I can't seem to shake neither the urge to be single nor the desire to start the rest of my life with the one I love. Too bad the one I love is TBA. My ocean just keeps waving, and you just keep floating by.

On lighter notes, my cat is incredibly adorable all the time. She greets me at my door, purrs until I show her copious amounts of attention, meows for treats, headbutts me whenever she can, has claimed my puffy red blanket as her own, insists on following me everywhere, and just seems to love me more than I'll ever know. Despite my suffering sinuses, I adore my little Maya. I knew I would, and it was only a matter of time before I acquired such a creature. Makes me smiley. :)

I recently had dinner with my parents and my flight instructor and his wife. My dad got to ask all his questions, but my parents also got to fully appreciate the care and dedication I've put into my training, as well as Steve has. My dad told me tonight that Steve wants nothing more than to see me succeed, and that's very true. All of us want nothing more than to see me make this career happen, and I'm not settling for less. Steve certainly is like a father figure to me, and I will never forget the Davis' kindness. I am forever appreciative, and my career will only have been possible because of their gift. I wouldn't be who I am without them.

Just more paths in life to be thankful to have been lead down. I think the universe is telling me this it's all good. And I gratefully agree.