january 28, 2003

scared of what this takes from me
afraid of losing you
while i'm losing bits of me....
can i have them back now?

takes me to the edge
and it plunges deeper inside me than you think
and suddenly in a heartbeat i blink
and i've lost it all
knocked off my pedestal
i thought i knew it all
but it all left me
so alone as i sit and let my mind wander
to the stars....further seems forever and my heart grows fonder
of the sincerity i long to have back
and of all the strength i lack

gone and gone again
i can't hide my sorry state
it isn't filled with hate
but i just know i come in second place
to that sad look upon your face
that look i long to erase

scared of me
i wanted you to know

--me. i guess i am scared of more than you would believe. there's so much i don't know, but i'm learning. it's just hard for me to not know and to pretend i do. god, if you can hear me, give me strength to understand....

what can i say

what can i say to make you understand
the fear in my head, the scar on my hand
the constant reminder of a burn
of the last heartbreak i had to learn
silent and watching as time goes by
sitting alone, waiting for my desires to die

tired of time