hope for a golden summer

last book i've read: same old flight manuals and handbooks

currently caressing my ears: my computer humming

general mood: exasperated, downcast

quote: "I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine." --Fritz Perls

The chapter is slowly closing. I want it to. It needs to, because I know what I need to do with myself now. I've realized, and it was right in front of me this entire time.

You say I've changed your life, that you're so much happier with me in it. But when you angrily demonstrate your resentment at this and that that I do, make you do, and so on, it's so obvious that I'm not everything you've supposedly ever dreamed of. How am I supposed to continue going on in this when I know where it's headed?

I'm not perfect, I realize that. I wasn't worried about that. But you've made me painfully aware of how far from it I am. You know, there are people in my life that do a better job of allowing me to love me as I am.