on the war of hearts, hands, and reason

12.16.07
this ghost town only makes me think of you and the way things used to be.
every street and building. thinking, holding hands, shining faces and slow walks.
haunting me taunting me pushing me on
someday i'll learn to forget

what remains is a heaviness in my chest
the sinking of profound loss
the heart i could never cross

the moment shared, close as we dared
lives and legs entwined. on these cold days i only wish to press rewind
to recapture and find
to end my days and unwind
with your warm arms encircling my tired body

...and....

12.24.07
so the truth comes out, and there's no way out of it
i left the bitter cold only to find
it cannot be ignored; i'm losing my mind
wishing i had two hearts, and left wondering what to do with this ocean

silent second guesses and second glances
i know who i love, but why must love haunt me
shaping endings, stealing parts, how does this one go?
humming tunes we both shared, i miss sharing instead of continually giving, nothing in return.
i miss a lot of things i used to know.
but now i know how this one will go

waves crash upon my shore
the sun dips below the horizon; nevermore
your ghost won't leave me alone
but i've got to let this go
a ship sounds just off shore
the deep bellow of settling.