My Life In A Broken Nutshell

Sometimes we're immature, sometimes we do stupid things. Sometimes life isn't fair, sometimes there are things we can't change. Or change is hard to face. Maybe it's too hard to face the things about ourselves that hurt the most, or tell us the most about ourselves. The truth may be more than one can bear.... alone, anyway. And oh god, when you attempt to say you're sorry.... when it hurts more to hear you say that, and when I'm not willing to accept it. You think it's that easy.... after all the shit, all the cruel things you've said, the pain you made me feel. But perhaps I'm just projecting, and perhaps you're right. You're always right. And sometimes I hate you for it! I feel so small, so worthless, and it's so pointless. Just less in general. Much less.

Another thing I hate is when you leave yourself open - for a relationship, for something meaningful - and you get nothing in return. It feels like rejection, although it's more likely that the other person is so oblivious they have no idea. Which seems somewhat ridiculous to me, but whatever, it's plausible. Damn those people that don't get it. That don't get when you're open to a relationship, be it platonic or love. I gave you that. And you know what you did? Just that - you shit on it. It's so hard to articulate exact feelings, but here, let me try: FUCK YOU. Cuz that's how I've felt about it for a while now. I told you I wanted to be close, that it meant a lot to me. Well, a lot has changed since then. And it shouldn't surprise you. You never reciprocated, never even attempted to show that you too cared. Fine, have it your way. I'm fine with that.... if only I hadn't left myself open to it. I'm so damn gullible.... I really fell for it.

And that about sums it up. All the pain I've felt, I'm finally letting it out. Finally taking the internal and shitting all over this nice blog. I truly hope you have a nice day.