last monday of the year, with classes

last book i've read: Factory Daughters: Gender, Household Dynamics, and Rural Industrialization in Java by diane wolf
band currently caressing my ears: portishead, the song sour times rocks!
general mood: contemplative
quote i just thought of: "well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see, this is my heart bleeding before you. this is me down on my knees." --jewel, before she sold out

yes, it is the last monday we have classes. we still have three weeks left, this is beginning of 9th out of 11 weeks, including finals. wow, it's all wrapping up so fast. i only have one final! yay for me. things are definitely looking up....

we did get into the building we wanted for housing, the new one called hiett (and it's almost as nice as the hotel chain hyatt). a quad, to be shared with wayland, bart, sarah, and me. should make for good times. i'm very excited. room 318.

and finally, me. i am doing better. i feel sane, i smile more, my classes are actually going well for a change. i haven't worried about it in a few weeks. a change? (well, it would be nice) there's just one thing still bothering me, bothers me deeply. my friend melissa hasn't called me after repeated pleas to do so.... i wonder what's up, but i won't worry about it. i just wonder, and i sometimes i wonder how badly i do mess up, cuz it seems to be more frequent, more serious. stupid promises i try to make and can never keep. i need to learn to keep my mouth shut and keep my mind clear....

oh and get this. i went to the first party on campus that i actually had fun at (completely sober, mind you). le brawl at phi taus was absolutely amazing. they spent a lot of time making authentic parisian sewers (well, it did have a slide) and making things pretty. the jazz quartet was great, especially their rendition of "night and day," i couldn't help but sing along. and of course, the dancing was so great, i finally let loose and didn't care. and i was surrounded by friends. what more could i ask for? a fantastic night. and there are sure to be many more.

hmm, maybe things really will be ok. starting to believe maybe all these ghosts are just in my head, and maybe there's more to life than the future.