generally stupid

i miss home. i miss not saying the wrong thing and not having to deal with drama and i miss my friends from home. one of these years, i'll have no friends to come home to.... but hopefully that won't be for a while yet. i just feel bad. wish i could keep my mouth shut and not judge like i say i don't or how i wish i didn't. i wish i could stay neutral and not care, but i do care. i care how things turn out, i care that you feel like you keep messing up, i wish you would stop bringing it on. it was truly never my intention to be such a mean friend. but there i go again....

i guess now i know better. at least, in theory i do. but who knows, i'll probably get hurt again, do stupid things again, and continue to be human. i wish i was somewhere else.