i could really use a million dollars

last book i've read: flight stuffs
currently caressing my ears: andy's 6.3.08 playlist
general mood: lonely lonely that is you. lonely lonely that is me.
quote: i think people can be perfect when they do not think about it. --matt pond PA

Earlier this month, after my insecurities bubbled over into a nasty, flat frustration for the both of us, Andy and I started to work on our friendship. That started June 3rd. It included putting energy into helping ourselves outside our romantic relationship and friendship, into our financial and social spheres as well. I haven't been making quite the effort I need to in the other spheres of life, but since working on our friendship, harmony is assuredly in my relationship with Andy. I realized the beauty of it all, the perfection, without my messing it up constantly. I realized how honored I am to have him so close in my life, how much he means to me. I realized how much I really loved him.

It was an epiphany moment, to be sure. Just after watching p.s. i love you. It seems silly to earmark those moments, especially when preceded by something simple as a movie. But, it hit me hard. And it's also the moment I realized I would be absolutely happy spending the rest of my life beside him.

I had no idea it felt so good. And felt so perfect. It only took me a year to realize that. (I mean that with a touch of sarcasm.... I make myself angry thinking about how much I've hindered that from happening sooner. but there's beauty in that too....)