taking the edge off

last book i've read: my planner and flight manuals

currently caressing my ears: pissed off playlist

general mood: contemplative

quote: "Whatever harsh criticisms may be passed on the construction of her sentences, she at least possesses that one touch of vulgarity that makes the whole world kin." --Oscar Wilde

Good thing these harsh feelings do not linger. I didn't mean it to come out so angrily, but I do long to be heard. I also keep thinking about what's to come, and it makes me very edgy and antsy. I need to let it all go, let the questions and musings and reminiscences roam free, let it go so far away to the edge of the earth, and fall off. Because this will all happen the way it's meant to, no matter how much melancholy I create.

If you don't mind, could you please just remind me how strong I really am? Sometimes it slips past me, like a thief in the night, and lets my guard down. And then I hurt the ones I love, which is not my intention. I just wish it felt like resilience, when it feels like futility. I am creating my own lonely spot. I'm afraid of what I'm capable of.