this world ain't just m-m-m-made of facts

last book i've read: Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafizi
music currently caressing my ears: John Frusciante. Usually my keep moving like a shark playlist
general mood: disconnected
quote: "And i'm glad that you're gone, but i wish to the lord that you'd come home" --Tom Waits

Sometimes, most times I get it. I understand love and it's ways, that it goes up and goes down, that it gets old and needs a nice wax to make it shiny and new again, that it's usually there to lean on and leads to the best hugs and the deepest intimacy one can ever know. But then there are other times where it cuts deep, hurts me in the most blinding painful ways I've ever known. And those disconnections are the worst, and I hope I never have to feel it again for any extended period of time. I am protesting disconnections, here now and forever.

My life has changed. I know what I want, and now it's not exactly leading me where others may have hoped. I'm doing what I need to do for myself. It seems selfish, and yet, I've learned that sometimes there needs to a balance between loving others and loving one's self. It's been tough, but I'm learning.

It's all going up and down and I'm happy. Love is confusing for me, but I'm learning the new rules. It will come and go as it may, and I will go on. These ships keep right on sailing.