Heaven and Hell

last book i've read: Speak by Laurie Halls Anderson
music currently caressing my ears: the sound of Wayland's voice
general mood: it's been a pretty crappy day.... crappy.
quote i just thought of: "And I'm afraid, and I can't breathe, and I'm in love with you, but you are not with me. And I have put so much into a life, I made too much about you now to lie...." --Rachael Yamagata

Tonight's the Heaven and Hell party put on by Phi Kappa Tau, which should be fun. It consists of the signature loud rap/grinding music in the basement (hell) and on the first floor, a live jazz quartet (heaven). I tend to stay away from the basement and linger more around the jazz, it's nice to hear good live music once in a while. I hope it will be a good time.

Honestly, it's hard to see my friends suffer and hurt, especially over the boys in their lives. I guess it's inevitable that we'd all complain about it at some point. I mean, boys will be boys. Besides that, the ways we all tell ourselves things will change, or get better, or get worse.... how do we really know how things will go? We can only put one foot in front of the next and hope we don't fall into the valley that seems all too inevitable. This reminds me of The Story of Us: "I think the loudest silences are the ones filled with everthing that's been said. Said wrong, said 3,000 times, until fighting becomes the condition rather than the exception. And your only option is a silent retreat to neutral corners." I hope things don't come to that for most of my friends. It's just so hard to keep boys in check sometimes....

Time for the party.... hope the jazz will cheer me up. Ladies, I hope that our lives don't consist of so many ups and downs that we can't see past them to the good times. Thinking of you....