an open letter to god

not what you expected. yep, just like everyone else, with more than a fair share of imperfections. it's so natural to go against what is true. but the real question is....does it make you happy? in the big picture of life, are you benefiting from it or is it dragging you down? they say that you should dwell on "whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, and worthy of praise." that is you. you are two times that. why shouldn't i think about you? oh, because you're not exactly what everyone expected. judgment is a harsh punishment. but you'll be fine.

what do You have to say about this? i only want to listen You. all these people are messing with my head, when the only truth i seek is You. ok, so i've messed up a few times. that's just me. and You know what i'm doing. maybe it's not exactly how You would have wanted it, but ya know what? i'm doing fine. more than fine. there are things i have to work on, but i'm working on it. if only my conscience would leave me alone. no exceptions, i know. so how do i get out of this mess than? i'd rather not. i don't see it as a mess, i see it as something wonderful. and i am not letting go. when it's time, i'll know, but for now, i'm here. and i'm not going away. You've helped me see that. i'm free, but i feel something weighing me down. can You help me out?

you know, of course there will be mistakes. but it's all part of something big. that is exactly what i am living for. "well done, good and faithful servant."